what i'm reading now

a dip back into fiction

combination of returning to a full time job and working on my poetry manuscript has minimized my reading time to commuting and other small moments of free time before work, but i am still pushing myself to keep on reading. after the crushing realities contained within the pages of the two books i read last, i’ve decided to pick up a work of fiction that Cammie gifted to me for my birthday this year.

recently read: We Begin Here: Poems for Palestine and Lebanon edited by Kamal Boullata and Kathy Engel

the second part of this anthology, titled “And Not Surrender,” is a collection of poems inspired by Israel’s attacks on Lebanon in 1982. this collection has further disillusioned me to israel’s horrific propensity to brutally attack civilians and has helped to strengthen my resolve to resist the zionist regime in any way that i possibly can. the realizations that these poets shared in the 80s are the same ones that my generation have been experiencing over the past 7 or so years.

this collection is one of many that should be required reading in schools, lest America doom itself to repeat history as it is now— and as it has done again and again. having read these poems alongside the genocide still taking place in Palestine, and now the bombing of surrounding areas including Iran and Lebanon, i am very much keen to fact that America’s leaders see and have seen these events taking place and have either given a stamp of approval or written it off as a problem that doesn’t belong to them.

it is a shame that this collection of poetry so relates to current events that it was rereleased with additional pieces inspired by the continuation of the atrocities being carried out by israel. it is heartbreaking that the poems collected here were released decades ago and are still relevant.

however, these words tie us to those who came before and share our sentiments. they are solid foundations for us to build upon and continue the work that these poets sought to do. the journalists that put their lives on the line to expose the truths of our world and the poets that seek to synthesize the realities of the carnage carry the torch passed by the words within these pages.

as the title says, We Begin Here. the work is not done until we see a truly free Palestine and israel is no longer allowed to carry on as it has. we will keep working, “And Not Surrender.”

my other recent read: Stay True: A Memoir by Hua Hsu

as i said in my last post about this book, it is full of wisdom regarding valuing the little things that make our life beautiful— particularly in the way of our friendships and connections. i think that there is also a lesson in the importance of feeling within the pages of Hsu’s memoir.

a couple years ago i read bell hooks’ all about love and was struck when reading about not fearing death and accepting it as a part of life. and while i think that that is an important notion to consider, i may have applied it too drastically and stopped feeling the devastation and loss that should accompany death.

i think that there is a very difficult, very fine line to walk between acceptance and denial when it comes to the death of a loved one. there is the possibility of locking away and shunning all sense of feeling and the potential for the loss to complete upheave your life and all sense of reality. and with the lessons i took from hooks’ writing, i think i leaned a touch too far into unfeeling.

Stay True is a reminder, for me, that the loss of a person you love does not have to coincide with the loss of yourself. and you do not have to avoid every thing that reminds you of the person that is no longer around. in fact, the practice of connecting to the things that you shared is also a connection to who you are; this practice allows you to consider a new meaning that honors your loved one’s memory while communing with your feelings.

the final sentence of this book served as inspiration to foster love in my life and to pursue my aspiration to publish my poetry.

"I’m going to write about all this someday, I told her, and she smiled at me.”

what i’m reading now: Tom Lake by Ann Patchett

after reading two books with heavier emotional subjects, i decided to turn to a book whose synopsis seemed generally more whimsical and positive. Tom Lake is a story told by Lara to her 3 daughters about a time in her life that is far different than the one she is living now. she tells them the story of a past love, long before they were born and she met their father.

the daughters listen with rapt attention, bewildered by the adventurous experiences she had before becoming the wife of a cherry farmer and mother of three. i’m about halfway through the story at this point and am equally curious about what happens next with Lara’s love interest.

the parts i’ve loved most about this book are the deep love exemplified by Lara for her life now— her family and their connectedness and the farm where they are gathered as she recounts her past— and the inspiration to consider the different paths my life and my parents lives could have taken. i’ve become curious about the stories that existed before the current one. perhaps i’ll ask my mom and dad to share with me someday.